Confront
by ocean-view-luffy
Summary: The Straw Hats have bad habits. But what happens when they try to change themselves for the good. Just a little taste: Zoro passes out, Sanji cries, Franky is nearly beaten to death, and Luffy goes cannablistc!
1. Zoro the alcoholic

**I think that the Straw Hats have a lot of bad habits. So why don't we sit them down and confront their flaws... shall we? **

**-Chapter One- **

The crew was gathered in the kitchen, awaiting the arrival of their first mate, Roronoa Zoro.

Luffy was prepping the crew. "We're doing this because we love him."

Sanji scowled. "I hate him." Luffy continued. "Let's try not to upset him."

"I want to see him cry"

"Sanji, Shut Up!"

The crew fell silent as Zoro walked into the kitchen. "Oi, what's going on here?" he asked, eyeing the circle of chairs suspiciously.

Luffy repeated his words. "We're doing this because we love you."

"I hate you."

"Sanji Shut Up!"

Zoro sat down in a chair. "So what's up?" Chopper took Zoro's hand. "We need you to stop drinking."

The swordsman blinked into space. "What?" Chopper patted the green haired teen. "Give up alcohol."

Luffy walked over to Zoro. "So gimme the rum."

"And the rum"

"And the sake"

**Three hours later**

"And the rubbing alcohol,

and the alcohol pads,

and the deodorant,

and the shampoo" Usopp: "I didn't know that had alcohol in it"

The room was scattered with bottles, barrels, and containers of alcohol. Sanji stepped over a huge barrel of sake which Zoro was hiding in his belt. "How did you fit that in there?!" he exclaimed, as Zoro pulled a gallon of rum out of his shirt.

Luffy looked at all the liquid that Zoro hid. "There, now don't you feel better?" Luffy asked, looking Zoro in the eye.

Zoro had turned pale. "I'm gonna pass out." he said. Luffy smiled. "Of course not silly! You need to be drunk to do that!"

Chopper's eyes widened. "No ,really ,he's gonna pass out!" he exclaimed, barley getting out of Zoro's way as he fell to the ground.

**Coming up in the next couple of chapters:**

**We confront Luffy on his eating habits **

**Sanji is pried away from his precious cancer sticks **

**and Zoro get's ill tempered with Franky's semi nudity. **

**Read on! **


	2. Luffy the over eater

**It's time for Luffy to confess that he is an over eater.**

**Luffy: Am not! **

**Save it for the story!!!!!**

**Luffy: Oh yeah... gotcha! -weird but cute wink- **

Zoro was on edge, no other way to put it. He was noisy, cranky, and down right rude. But to Sanji... that was an improvement. But we don't care about Sanji's opinion, cause I'm a ZoLu writer.

**Sanji: No fair! I wanna talk shit about Marimo!**

**Me: Not in this lifetime!**

**Sanji: How 'bout next? **

And since the crew was already neatly arranged in the kitchen, Zoro spoke up. "Well fine. No booze... if Luffy gives up some food." he said, mumbling the last part.

Luffy shot up to the ceiling. "Huh! No more food!" he exclaimed, hanging from the ceiling light.

Nami smiled. "Well, it would save money." she thought, thinking about all the saved cash.

Sanji sighed. "My ingredients will last longer." he said, swimming in his own thoughts.

Chopper pulled Luffy down from the light fixture. "No Luffy. You'll be able to eat. We're just going to put you on a diet." he explained.

Luffy's eyes widened. "Die! You're gonna kill me! I'm your captain!" he shrieked, starting to sweat nervously. Nami hit her forehead with her palm.

"Not die. A Diet." she said through her teeth. Luffy fell backwards off his chair.

" A diet! What does that mean?! You're going to cut my fingers off?!" He cried, holding his hands to his chest. Which looked so very wrong.

"No... it means that we're not going to give you as much food." Zoro explained. Luffy extended his arm to Zoro.

"No! That's even worse! Just chop off my fingers now!" he cried, waving his rubbery fingers in Zoro's face.

Zoro put Luffy's hand down. "Very tempting." he said, placing one hand on his katana.

**Me: I just realized how wrong that sounds.**

**Zoro: Damn right it sounds wrong! I don't touch myself! I'm not Sanji! **

**Sanji: Ouch. That hurt. If you need me -pathetic sniffle- I'll be in my kitchen.**

Robin looked at Luffy. "Captain-san. Zoro will interrogate you for any hidden food items."

Zoro gagged suddenly. "What!" he yelled.

Nami smiled evilly. "Interrogate him. You know, take him into the bathroom and strip him down." she said teasingly.

Zoro scowled. "Why can't Sanji?" he said, pointing a accusing finger at the cook. The romantic blonde backed off.

"No way... your first mate. Besides, I have to be ready to interrogate my dearest Nami- swan." he said, placing an arm around the orange haired navigator. There was a loud bang as Sanji hit the floor.

"Don't touch me!!"

"Yes my Nami- swan!"

Luffy gave a tiny yelp as Zoro picked him up and carried him towards the bathroom.

"Zoro, no! We did this an hour a go... I'm tired!" the boy squealed.

It was only a couple of minutes, but the crew waited outside the door. There were faint shouts from inside.

"Luffy hold still!"

"But your hands are cold!"

"That's from all the ice-cream you had stored in your pants."

"It was in a plastic baggie!"

The door finally opened. , and Zoro limped out of the bathroom. "He bit me." he said, warding off the crew's questions.

Sanji smiled. "Ooh, where?"

Luffy was re-buttoning his vest. "Ahh, I feel much better. Thanks Zoro" he said, starting to re-fasten his pant buckle.

Zoro turned red. "It's not how it sounds." he stammered. Not that Luffy was done.

'The way you pulled out that banana. Mmm, it still tasted good though" he said, giving Zoro a huge Luffy grin.

Sanji lit a cigarette. "Oh, of course not. We would never think you were screwing our captain."

Usopp tried to with strain his fit of giggles. And Chopper was on the verge of crying.

Luffy brushed some dust off his prized hat.

"You handled it very well. Not rough, thanks!" he said speeding off.

Zoro tried to hide the blush that had turned his face bright scarlet.

"Er- he actually had a banana in his pants." he mumbled, starting to walk off.

Sanji laughed. "Yeah, you had one in your pants too. But Luffy probably bit that off."

**Well, any good??? Sorry for such a long delay.I wanted this to be perfect. So let me re name what comes up next -there's more listed as the story goes on- **

**We pry Sanji away from his precious cancer sticks**

**Zoro becomes ill tempered with** **Franky's semi nudity. **

**Nami is chose to choose between giving up money or tangerines. **

**Robin has to call the crew by their real names. **

**Usopp is forced to take a shower**

**Chopper is given anti- paranoia pills **

**And I guess that's it. That was long. **

**Zoro: Yes! Sanji is next. Make him cry! Make him cry! **

**Sanji; No, because I couldn't make you cry. **

**Me: We can work out a break down. **

**Sanji: Bu-but why!!! **


End file.
